I was dating two guys simultaneously. One was Benjamin and the other was Bernard. It was hard dating two guys at the same time but what’s harder is trying not to use one’s name to call the other. Their names started with ‘B’ so sending them text messages became a struggle. I found myself texting Bernard what I intended to text Benjamin. I was lucky. It wasn’t anything serious. To avoid the risk of interchanging their names, I stopped calling them with their names. I called both of them “Babe.” They loved it. They called it a step up in our relationship but to me, it was just a safety mechanism.
I wasn’t sleeping with any of them. I was assessing who had what it took to carry me to the end of time. They both had some qualities I loved and some qualities I hated. But to be honest with you, I didn’t mind who I ended up with after dating them both for almost a year.
One night, Bernard called and it was a call waiting. I was on the phone with Benjamin. When I later called back he asked who I was on the phone with. I tried to explain but he didn’t believe me. While I was on the phone trying to explain, Benjamin called again. It was a call waiting but he wouldn’t stop. He called and called until I got frustrated. When I ended Bernard’s call and picked up, he screamed, “You said goodnight to me a moment ago. Why are you on the phone with another person?” He accused me of cheating. “You won’t date me properly because you have someone else,” he said. I retorted, “How did we get here?
This is the first time this is happening so why don’t you all believe me?” “Why don’t you all? Who are the ‘all’?” I cut the line and switched off my phone. Minutes later, I heard a knock on my door. It was Benjamin. He didn’t understand why I would turn off my phone. We were arguing. It was wild. Not long afterwards, my door swung open. It was Bernard. They both stared at each other wondering who was who to me. When things start to fall apart, it doesn’t fall slowly. Just once and it’s all down. I refused to answer their questions. They started talking to each other, answering the questions I refused to answer. Bernard said, “So you’re the reason” and stormed out. Benjamin stayed a little longer questioning his place in my life and if indeed I loved him. He asked, “So he’s the one you’re sleeping with?”
I shook my head and asked him to leave so I sleep. He didn’t leave. He sat in the chair and demanded answers. “I won’t leave until you explain.” I took my time and explained everything to him. “I’m not sleeping with him. If I won’t sleep with you while would I sleep with him? The truth is I was assessing you both.” “So who will you choose?” He asked me. I didn’t answer his question until two years later when we exchanged our vows in front of God, family and friends. “It’s you I chose because you believed me and stayed. Even if you didn’t believe me, you loved me enough to give me one more chance.”
—Nuna
